I am quite stupid. Insane. Stubborn. Nothing more. I like taking stupid ideas and running with them. I don’t speak French so I’ll go and study in France! I live in Holland so why not cycle up a mountain! The latest in the trail of stupidity? Another climb of one of those mountains. A favorite. Mont Ventoux. My fourth climb only seven years on from the last time. The last mountain I tried, with a standard road bike, was Col du Galabier. I gave up on the first slope on the way. I can barely get over a bridge some days with a standard road bike. So, Mont Ventoux via Bedoin?
Sorry, but what the actual f*ck!
A Different Challenge
This time will be very different from the first climb. In 2016. That was sponsored, a charity climb. For the Dutch charity ‘Klimmen Tegen MS’, or ‘Climb Against MS’. Sponsorship raised around 10,000 Euros. A lot of generous friends and colleagues. I had been diagnosed with PPMS for three years by then. I had taken to heart what my Neurologist had told me. Stay fit. At that time I was riding 200+ kilometres a week and…
Well, you get the picture. Let’s stop there! I was fit. Fitter than I am now!
The Mountain
So why Mont Ventoux? Why keep going back there? Because I love the area and that mountain is just so much part of it. I first saw it on walks on a holiday in the Vaulcluse region. It was still fifty something kilometres away but still, it dominated! In sunsets, its bare summit seemed to bathe in the light of the setting sun. Technically part of the Alps yet dominantly alone, almost standing sentry and keeping the rest of the world out.
I was transfixed. Then someone said something about riding a bike up it.
Inevitable
The chance to climb it for MS Research was a no-brainer. Actually, no it wasn’t. As I said, it took a lot of training. I also needed to be certified to take part in mass-cycling events in France. That meant a day of tests to ensure that my heart would be able to take sustained climbing. It was but I still needed to prepare. Ride in all weathers because I would have to do it on the day. Build my confidence with long rides to Amerongen, where there is a hill that I would go up and down. A training camp, or should I say ‘weekend break’ in La Roche-en-Ardenne in Belgium. Yes, I was ready and made the climb. From Bedoin, the hardest route.
Again and Again
I climbed Mont Ventoux two more times. In 2017 and 2019. The former via Malaucene which felt just as steep but which you could tell you were going up. The second was via Sault, which is the easiest of the routes so I added a preamble of the Gorges de la Nesque. My only regret of this ride was that I did not stop and look around the Gorges. Beautiful, but motivation was different then.
All routes had something stunning, mesmerizing. They were hard work, a lot of effort. But, to reach that summit felt like such an achievement. It felt… I don’t know how to describe it other than joy. An aching, parched joy! Like nothing I have felt before. That feeling. Something in your heart. Elation. Beating the world and my own body.
Different Times
It is now seven years on from that last climb. Of course I was fitter. In 2019 I only stopped for twenty minutes during the seventy-one kilometre climb. Two-thousand metres. I now stop that long on a flat ride of thirty kilometres. There is no comparison! That is seven years of MS progression.
So this climb will be made with an e-road bike. A boost to keep the legs going and also to help me restart if I stop. Which I will. I am a different person now. It is simply impossible to recreate those earlier climbs and this ride will not be an attempt. So why do it? Some form of sadistic self-torture? Or a kind of self-indulgent nostalgia for a world that is gone?
Perhaps there is an element of nostalgia. But there is also getting a little of that feeling back.
Going Back to Mont Ventoux
This may be with an e-bike but there will still be a need for muscle, effort. It is not an inevitability that I will complete the climb. There are different factors now. Not just legs but my arms as well. They are not as strong as they were and the right hand can get a little numb although this is more of a problem with standard handlebars than the drops of a racing bike. It is surprising just how important arms are in a sport more associated with legs!
I probably sound like I am making excuses not to complete the climb, which will most likely be via Bedoin. The most claustrophobic, disorientating of the routes. The trees feel so close that you have no sense that you are actually going up, I remember that feeling from 2016. I also remember the early stages of the 2016 and 2017 climbs where I had that distinct ‘what the f*ck am I doing?’ feeling. In 2019 I was far more confident and the only issue was cramp at the end. When I had finished.
Just Once More
Of course I will try and will get as ready as I can. It will not be easy. I will not pretend it is a set of memories of how wonderful the experience was. My legs hurt then and they will hurt now. As long as they are not numb which is the other issue. But I just want to get to the summit one more time. Just once. And get a snap by that sign at the summit with my friends. Then look down that road snaking up over the bald surfaces of the summit, standing next to that red and white tower, and think to myself…. ‘I did that’.
Just this time, with a little more help. That’s all and I will accept it.
Postscript: A note on Preparation. I don’t plan to do the number of long distance rides that I had done for the previous climbs. However, I will ride regularly, watch my diet and take advice from my physio. Two kilos off so far and a lot of work on core strength which, let’s face it, is not what it was. For all the help of an e-bike, I will try to bring as much of myself as possible. Part of that preparation is accepting that, if I cannot do it this time, so be it. I will enjoy trying.