For the Love Of… Cycling

The first of a set of occasional posts in a series ‘For the Love Of…’ Basically I will just write about something I like a lot. Nothing more than that! This one will cover cycling.

Today. Nine years ago today. That’s when my real love of cycling began.

June tenth, 2016. Mont Ventoux from Bedoin. Not the longest cycle ride I have done but the second highest and the first time I had climbed a mountain by bike. A sponsored ride, part of Klimmen tegen MS. Climb Against MS. A hard experience that I have written about many times and which I won’t repeat again. What is more important here is the seed that was planted that day. The realisation that I could carry out such activities, feel the pain, beat the mountain and, in a way, beat MS. A pattern was started. There followed more mountains, rides like Liege-Bastogne-Liege, the targets kept coming and were beaten.

Each of them a middle finger to MS.

It could not last forever. MS would always start to get the upper hand. But I still love cycling. Just a little differently.

How Things Are Now

Just a quick moment to reflect where I am. I want to keep Multiple Sclerosis out of these posts as much as possible but it does like to stick its nose in and one way it has is through restricting my cycling. These days I am slower and I stop a lot more. There is not much more I can say than that. I can still do good distances but climbing is a big issue. A bridge is enough of a challenge to crawl over. I remember all those mountains. How that felt…

Hurt

Sorry but here is the human part. This is when acceptance is hard work. When I look back at those big rides, those climbs, the sheer adrenaline of sprinting at fifty kilometres per hour. The muscles aching, screaming. Which contrasts grimly to how they feel now. Like jelly. Powerless, unstable, jelly. Noticeable every ride. So why still do it?

The Relationship Now

I still do it because cycling is still an activity that means a lot to me and keeps me moving. So many precious memories that have helped me through the difficult journey of diagnosis and learning just what changes are coming. My rides are flat, slow and with a lot of pauses but they are all mine. Perhaps I am no longer looking down the mountain I have just climbed. But sitting in a field under a blue sky and watching swallows wheeling around me whilst taking one of those rests? That is just as precious, albeit in a different way, and I am just so glad to have these moments. They are all mine.

For the Love of… Cycling

All those experiences are still in my memory. The sense of achievement, the kick that you get when you are fastest on the day over a sprint segment on Strava or when you tear up some idiot who makes a comment about the pedals you are using*. Yes I could be that cheap…

There are still precious moments. Just yesterday, resting my weary leg and looking at distant clouds rolling over the flat, green horizon. A brief moment in an otherwise horrible, unstable ride reminded me why I love cycling so much. A nice thing to remember, nine years on from that amazing day.

* I could never use cleats as it is difficult to twist my foot in the right way, MTB pedals as recommended by my cycling shop. Some d*ckheads make comments, I can’t tear them up anymore.