May 30th was World MS Day. While not exactly a cause for celebration, it’s a meaningful day for raising awareness. To be honest, though, most of the coverage I’ve seen has been on websites and blogs for people who already have Multiple Sclerosis and they’re pretty aware of MS, I think! With so many awareness days for various illnesses, conditions and interest groups it’s not surprising that for many World MS Day passes unnoticed. But the efforts behind them matter; fundraising, community building and connection all make a difference.
As for me? It’s become a lovely opportunity to pause, look back and look forward. To remind myself that there’s genuinely a lot to look forward to.
The Day Itself
Once upon a time, World MS Day was a day of resistance. A day when I made a big ride. A mountain climb if abroad (in 2017 that was my beloved Mont Ventoux) or one-hundred kilometres plus if I was in Holland. Not many mountains in Holland, after all. Now that is no longer possible. Of course, there is a twinge of sadness. That’s normal.
But I still rode my bike. Just not very far! Then a rest ready for some painting and a welcome visit from a friend for a coffee. He was just back from a ride. Then cooking and relaxing in the sunshine with a couple of cookbooks and some music. Later a film. ‘Apocalypse Now: Redux‘. Still not sure what those additional scenes give…
All in all, nothing extraordinary! Just a nice day. One where I must admit I suddenly realise just how content I am. Considering.
The State I Am In
Reflection can sometimes lead to negative thoughts. Comparisons with what was possible and what is possible now. I am human, sometimes I do that. Something like MS does mess with you mentally, at least a little. There is also research suggesting that the disease itself actually causes some issues, not just the stress of dealing with symptoms.
Let’s save that for another day, another post perhaps. It is also important to reflect that I can still do so much. MS was always going to progress and it can be very hard to deal with that. It is easy to be resilient when the symptoms are not that bad. Still, on a good day, it is important to remember what I can still do. A nicely full diary. Still loving the bike, but not the same distances. And using the time for new hobbies. Painting, drawing. Still a lot to do.
Looking Forward
So it is important to look forward. I have, once again, redesigned the blog. I will start to write a little more, bear with me whilst I try to figure out how everything interacts with each other and what I want to write about. The danger is that there is so much that my cognitively screwed mind can’t figure out where to start!
A couple of days on from World MS Day, the resistance continues. In a different way to the past, perhaps? Now less about physically overcoming MS than mentally overcoming it. Not looking back to what was but looking forward to what will be and the new things that I am discovering.
New. That’s a nice word.
Of course there will be dark days. They are not going away. MS will win in the end. That is going to take a while. I intend to have some fun in the meantime.